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Gorakhpur Hospital Tragedy: Dr Kafeel’s Letter From Jail- ‘Eight Months in Jail Without Bail, Am I Really Guilty?’



Gorakhpur Hospital Tragedy: Dr Kafeel’s Letter From Jail- ‘Eight Months in Jail Without Bail, Am I Really Guilty?’

Dr Kafeel Ahmad Khan, who was lauded as the “hero” for saving lives of many children during the BRD Medical College tragedy in Uttar Pradesh last year-that killed over 30 children due to the oxygen shortage on the intervening night of August 10-11- has been languishing in Gorakhpur prison for the past eight months.He has been denied bail by the lower court and Allahabad High Court has not been hearing his question because of one reason or the other.

He has been charged under Sections 120B (criminal conspiracy), 308 (attempt to commit culpable homicide) and 409 (criminal breach of the offense). trust by public servant) of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).

The young doctor has penned a 10-page letter to the media from the prison, describing why his arrest is unjust.

Was extending a helping hand my crime, he asks.

I cherished every moment, every scene is still alive like my eyes, even after 8 months of unbearable torture, humiliation behind the bars. Sometime, I ask myself, “Am I really guilty?” And the answer pops out from the core of my heart – a big NO.

The moment I got that WhatsApp message on that fateful 10 August 2017 night, I did everything a doctor, a father, a responsible citizen of India would / should do.

I tried to save each and every life which was in danger due to sudden stoppage of liquid oxygen. I did my level best to save those innocent kids who were dying because of lack of oxygen. I frantically called everyone, I begged, I talked, I ran, I drove, I ordered, I yelled, I screamed, I comforted, I counseled, I spent, I borrowed, I cried. I did all what is humanely possible.

I am called my head of the department, my colleagues, principal BRD, DM (District Magistrate) Gorakhpur, AD (Additional Director) Health Gorakhpur, CMS / SIC Gorakhpur, CMS / SIC BRD and informed them about the grave situation arising due to sudden stoppage of liquid oxygen and how children ‘lives are in danger due to lack of oxygen supply. (I have all the call records)

I begged gas suppliers – Modi Gas, Balaji, Imperial Gas, all the hospitals around BRD Medical College – after arranging their contact numbers for jumbo cylinders to save hundreds of lives of innocent kids.

I paid them in (against) cash and assured them (that I) will pay (the) rest on delivery. (We arranged 250 cylinders / day until liquid oxygen tank arrived at one jumbo cylinder cost Rs 216 / -)

I ran from one cubicle to another, from Ward 100 to Ward 12 to emergency ward, from point of oxygen to the point of delivery to make sure uninterrupted oxygen delivery.

I drove to get cylinders from nearby hospitals in my car. When I realized that was not enough, I drove to SSB (Seema Suraksha Bal) and met its DIG (deputy inspector general) and explained to him the unprecedented situation. Their response was very quick and supporting. They arranged a large truck and (a) group of cylinders from BRD to gas agency, filled it, brought to BRD and ran again to refill.

They worked for continuous 48 hours. Their sprit boost ours. I salute (the) SSB and (am) very thankful for their help.


I spoke to my junior / senior doctors, I ordered my staff, Do not get panic (ed), do not be disheartened, do not get angry with parents, do not take break. We had to work as a team to treat efficiently to save every life. “

I consoled grieving parents who had lost their children, I was advised by those who were getting angry after losing their kids. There was so much chaos. I explained them – the liquid O2 (oxygen) is finished but we are trying to make it with jumbo cylinders.

I yelled / screamed to everyone to focus on saving lives. I cried, actually everyone in the team cried, to create the administrative failure to pay the dues to the oxygen suppliers – resulting in such a grave situation.

We did not stop trying until liquid oxygen tank arrived at 1:30 am on 13-08-2017.

But my life turned upside when CM Yogiji Maharaj arrived next morning on 13-08-17. He asked – so you are Dr Kafeel? You arranged cylinders?

I was like – yes sir.

He got angry – so you think by arranging cylinders, you became hero, I will see it.

Yogiji was angry because – how this incident came into the media. I swear to my Allah, I did not inform any media person that night. They were already there that night itself.

Then police started coming to our home – hounding, threatening, torturing my family. People warned they would kill me in an encounter. My family, my mother, my kids were so scared that I did not have words.

I was surrendered to save my family from the humiliation, I should get justice.

But the number of days, weeks and months passed – August, 2017 to April, 2018. Holi came, Dussehra came, Christmas went, New Year came, Diwali came – every date – date after dates hoping will get bail. Then we realized that judiciary is also working under pressure. (Even they acknowledged the same)

Sleeping on floor with over 150 prisoners in a cramped barrack with millions of mosquito at night and thousands of flies in the day. Trying to swallow food to live in a half naked in the field and sit in a toilet with broken door. Waiting for Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday to meet my family.

Life is hell, miserable not only for me but for my whole family. They had to run from one pillar to another – from police station to court, from Gorakhpur to Allahabad – in hope of justice. But all in vain.

My daughter whose first bithday I could not celebrate is now 1 year 7 months old.As a pediatrician, it is very painful, disheartening not to see his child to grow. As a pediatrician, my daughter started walking, speaking and running.

So now again that question haunts me – am I really guilty? No, no – NO.

I was on leave on 10th August 2017. (It was sanctioned by my HoD). Still, I rushed to do my duties – is that wrong?

They made me head of the department, the widow chancellor of BRD, in-charge 100-bed acute encephalitis syndrome (AEH) ward. I am a junior most doctor and joined only on 08-08-2016 as a permanent employee. I was working as a nodal officer with NRHM and lecturer pediatrics. My whole work is to teach students, treat kids. I was nowhere involved with purchase / tender / order / maintenance / supply / payment of liquid oxygen / jumbo cylinders.

If Pushpa Sales (the official supplier) stopped the liquid oxygen supply, how am I responsible for that? Even non medico could tell doctors’ work is to treat, not to buy oxygen.

The guilty are DM Gorakhpur, principal secretary of health education for not taking any action against 14 reminders sent by Pushpa Sales for its Rs 68 lakh dues.

It was a total administrative failure in the higher level, they did not realize the gravity and just to save themselves, they made us scapegoat and put us behind the bars so that will remain in Gorakhpur jail.

When Manish Bhandari (director of Pushpa Sales) got bail, we may also get justice and come back to my family and to serve again.

But No – we are still waiting.

Supreme Court says – Bail is the right, prison is exception. This is a classical example of miscarriage of justice.

I hope time will come with my family and my daughter. Truth will prevail. Justice would be served.

A helpless, broken heart father, husband, brother, son and friend

Dr Kafeel Khan


Hubble spots farthest individual star ever seen …Kavignar Thanigai.

Hubble Telescope Detects The Farthest Individual Star Ever

The most distant star ever to be discovered was recently located by astronomers using the Hubble telescope, with the research taking place at the University of Minnesota. “You can see individual galaxies out there, but this star is at least 100 times farther away than the next individual star we can study, except for supernova explosions”, said former UC Berkeley postdoctoral scholar Patrick Kelly, now on the faculty at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. “It appears to us as it did when the universe was about 30 percent of its current age”. Scientists have detected the most distant star ever viewed, a blue behemoth located more than halfway across the universe and named after the ancient Greek mythological figure Icarus. And the star may be hundreds of thousands of times brighter than our sun as well, though still so far away that gravitational lensing was key to its observation. It just so happened that Icarus passed “along the critical curve” of the cluster, Kelly said, which warped the starlight in our direction – a process called gravitational lensing. It involves the bending of light by massive galaxy clusters in the line of sight, which magnifies more distant celestial objects. By combining the strength of the gravitational lens and Hubble’s resolution, astronomers were able to see and study Icarus. “Mass bends the paths of light that travels near it”, Kelly said. Usually, the cluster magnifies Icarus by a factor of about 600. By modeling the lens, they concluded that the tremendous apparent brightening of Icarus was probably caused by a unique effect of gravitational lensing. Details about the landmark event appear in a paper, titled “Extreme magnification of a star at redshift 1.5 by a galaxy cluster lens”, which was published online yesterday in Nature Astronomy. The ring is too small to discern from this distance, but the effect made the star easily visible by magnifying its apparent brightness. “They effectively worked together – the cluster actually makes the star in the cluster act like a much more powerful lens”, Kelly said. “For this type of research, nature has provided us with a larger telescope than we can possibly build!” “This is the first time we’re seeing a magnified, individual star”. In this April 25, 1990 photograph provided by NASA, most of the giant Hubble Space Telescope can be seen as it is suspended in space by Discovery’s Remote Manipulator System (RMS) following the deployment of part of its solar panels and antennae.

dedicated by: Kavignar Thanigai.

thanks: Alive from Football



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Meditation is not a fragmentation of life; it is not a withdrawal into a monastery or into a room, sitting quietly for ten minutes or an hour, trying to concentrate, to learn to meditate, and yet for the rest being a hideous, ugly human being.  One brushes all that aside as being unintelligent, as belonging to a state of mind that is incapable of really perceiving what truth is; for to understand what truth is one must have a very sharp,clear,precise mind; not a cunning without any distortion, a mind innocent and vulnerable; only such a mind that can see what truth is.  Nor can a mind that is filled with knowledge perceive what truth is; only a mind that is completely capable of learning can do that; learning is not the accumulation of knowledge; learning is a movement from moment to moment.


The mind and the body also must be highly sensitive.  You cannot have a dull, body, loaded with wine and meat, and then try to meditate – that has no meaning.


The mind must be highly alert, highly sensitive and intelligent, not the intelligence born of knowledge.


Living in this world with all its travail, so caught up in misery, sorrow and violence, is it possible to bring the mind to a state that is highly sensitive and intelligent?  That is the first and an essential point in meditation.


Second: a mind that is capable of logical, sequential perception; in no way distorted or neurotic.


Third: a mind that is highly disciplined. The word ‘discipline’ means ‘to learn’, not to be drilled.

‘Discipline’ is an art of learning – the very root of the word means that.


A disciplined mind sees everything very clearly, objectively, not emotionally, not sentimentally.  Those are the basic necessities to discover that which is beyond the measure of thought, something not put together by thought, capable of the highest  form of love, a dimension that is not the projection of one’s own little mind.

By J.Krishnamurti on Meditation.

Dedicated to those who want to meditate:

By. poet Thanigai.





By J.Krishnamurti on Meditation.

ICE AGE 2100

ICE AGE 2100


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Over its history, Earth has had at least four major ice ages, during which the planet’s average temperature cooled significantly.


Lower Temperatures caused the polar ice caps to become thicker and broader, spreading over portions of the continents and locking up much of the planet’s water supply in ice.  Some say we are now in a warming period and that the ice caps will melt before temperatures cool again.

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But what if the opposite were true? What if we were in a cooling period and about to enter another ice age?  Soon you and your friends will be in charge of the world.  What would you do if the ice sheets in Antarctica and Greenland were due to increase dramatically in the next five years?


Currently, 29 percent of the earth is land, and 71 percent is water.  Only 10% of the water is ice.  This figure could increase to as much as 25 percent.



Some changes can be predicted immediately: the sea level will fall, creating more land area but reducing the water supply.

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Temperature will be much colder and for longer periods of time.  Glaciers will form and spread once again.  But what do these changes mean for life on the planet? How will human life be affected? Based on what you now know about the history of Earth, what can be done to minimize the impact of this enormous shift in global climate?




Dedicated by: kavignar Thanigai.




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Today will mark 50 years of Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin’s foray into space and the only Indian to have traveled to space, Mr.Rakesh Sharma, said that continuing exploration of space will bring further wonders to mankind in the years to come and hoped that man would colonize the celestial neighbours like the moon and Mars in future.


Cosmonaut Rakesh Sharma currently lives Coonoor,near OOty said that the space journey of Yuri Gagarin in April 12, 1961, had inculcated the much-needed confidence among mankind that reaching space and returning safely to earth was not an impossible task.


He added that with sophisticated and advancing technologies in the field of space research, opportunities were ample to explore space further to look for resources.


Asserting that space research in India had come of age and ISRO was capable of sending another cosmonaut into space and even take up manned  mission to the moon,he said that ISRO had so far focused on application technologies  to take the benefits of space research to the common man but after the Chandrayan mission, it can look forward further.


Mr.Sharma also added that space tourism would become a common phenomenon in the years to come but more funds were needed to realize that goal. Future generations would show great interest in space journeys and research.


Stating that he would be ready to visit space if he got the chance again, the cosmonaut hoped that future generations would show great interest and enthusiasm in space journeys and research.


Sharma added that the non-sustainable development in earth will certainly make mankind look towards colonizing the other planets.


April 12, 2011 Deccan Chronicle Report.

Dedicated by:kavignar Thanigai.




At that time I was reading 2nd standard or 3 standard only,my age might be 8 or 9. or in between that.

In our home one brahmin family came and lived some years as Tenant. I dont know still how they came to us, why they were came to us live along with us. But I knew my one of elder sister Malligai have very thick friendship with them.

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our home is divided in two portions. One is with leavy roof on top, other side portion is tiled, even now in the same house I am residing with my family.  It contains No modern structure at all . For our needs it was extended or altered as per day to day life.


So, one growed girl named as vijaya, and one his elder brother Gopal with parents are the family.House head went for a Chemical company co operative stores officer. He have one bad habit like drinking or gambling…But his Mrs is very polite and sincere love with him treating like god. Gopal is very irresponsible youth he didn’t passed his school final even in his final exam period also he used to see night show of cinema, we called it as a Second Show it was run between the time : 10.30 pm to 1 am like that. And after the same day 9 am morning he used to went and attended his exams…what happened you might be already guessed about him and his exam results very well….

After some time their family is shifted to Bangalore….Household lost his job here due to cheating by others or some accounts problems…But these are all not subject what we we have to mention here to know about it.

vijiya is very very fair and innocent vehemently spoke with all, they had dog, their family was very attached with animals and birds with mercy.. vijaya akka (elder sister like figure , so tall and very friendly with us) I could not able to forget his figure, smiling face, and even his jem of tooths , while she spoke, smile and laugh it shows excellent images…

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Even She used to speak with crows while distributing daily cooked meal firstly served to those crows…From her only I learned: if crows can pass us messages of guests arrival to our home…Then if that birds will walk around that place and express what she asked, or if they fly away means , that was also refers other side of meaning to us… (unkkaa irunthaa odip po,enakkaa irunthaa natanthu kaattu…means: If the guest is to you , you show it by the way fly away from here, if the guest arrival to us means walk and show it….)


Actually, I want to convey the following part to tell you, our heroine Prema teacher came to our story now only. She is very close relation to this family. She used to come oftenly to this family. their family is 2 to 3 km away from our place. wherever she goes whenever she went she brought me also , it was just like happened yesterday before 59 years I went along with to a School function saw all function and provided a lunch in her relation’s house freshly with white rice and potato  side dish to mix with it and eat…That heat of that food is still I am feeling…But you must know about one thing, After many years later, prema teacher made suicide.

Prema teacher is not willing to marry a man who is arranged by their family, after many years she accepted that marriage and lived many years, I dont know she have children or not, one day news came, prema is took poison and died…

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where their life starts and ends I dont know., But I travelled with very attached …with them ever. even now

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I will give other interesting secret very personal story next in my chapter.

Try to be with me.

with regards





Personal diary: page no: 1.

I could not able to meet you very long time and share my thoughts,baring time with you is very difficult because of personal domestic life for earning livelihood.

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But today I decided to record and register my personal intimate matters with this site before my life span ends… I mean I may live more than 80 years that’s not a matter. But Now I am completed my 56 years. Still I have some secrets of love in my mind.I want to reveal it with out doing any harm to others.

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From my child hood to now :some names are very nearer to me, I mean that name owning people especially that female / or / opposite gender age may be varies they are much age difference to me also not a barrier to telling this.

In Tamil some names like Prem, Devika, susheel these names are very popular and friendly attached to my younger period…at those time I was below ten years. One Teacher name is Suseela , to I am remembering her because to day in that name one lady dis appeared from our world. I came to know today only.

Actually I went to attend one local function , and with additionally I want to remit my phone bills , due to busyness these days I have not much time to go for a usual walk,  so I went that function by walk and attended then want to go that office, One Pandal taken place in that cement road, morning only I took oil bath , that is a saturday, so I dont want to enter that tragic pandal because of somebody died there, to denote that occasion that pandal was installed.

So I asked a nearby shop, yes the person replied…So I return back to railway tracks and go to remit that bill, on the way  in many landmarks , one poster is with a lady photo, indicated she is no more on our land. I knew her very well. we have spoken only once I think. But many times we crossed each other while going walking.


we dont know we fond of some people with our first glance from it and life long we will not forgot about them, they may be colour, or black, they may be right or wrong…So; these unknown named lady is also very fond of me at those times. some incidents I noted from her. But I will not take any initiation because of morality and the dignity of keeping values of society.

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She always dressed well, her body is slim, mostly she used to speak with others nicely, gently,  she is black….So today I shocked about her sudden demise. Then I left that path and came home with alternate paths with running of her thoughts…after arriving home wife told for the pain of foot leg she went to a lady doctor , getting a injunction immediately she died due to hear arrest/ attack.


To day only I came to know her name is  Susheel..so I thought my younger age ….and Susheel teacher so is so warm and healthy little bit bulky..But always with smiling face….I dont know where  there life starts and ends…


Regarding with Devika, I am studied at those time 5 th standard or 6th, I forgot about that also, we used to go to a female priest  home 2 km away from our home, there only one daughter and one son that priest had. Devaki is very senior to me, just like our elder sisters. But she have very cordial affectionate friendship with me, speaks, smiles, laugh very well… that is her marriage portion of life. she is very pet to their family and attached. she is not willing to marry and go to husband house even though it was wealthy and comfortable… now she may granma to many children. But I dont know where and how her life starts and going to ends…

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In my next post I will explain about prem teacher….

with regards